The Great Job Hunt of '09

I've come to the conclusion that job hunting in itself is a full time job. I started out doing great. I had an interview at a school in Denton, made it to the second "round," and then never heard back. (Granted, between then and now, we've had TAKS, Swine Flu, and the always challenging task of ending the school year.) I have emailed principal after principal and applied in district after district. And, one day - the news I didn't expect, but had so desperately wanted to hear arrived. There was going to be an opening at the school where I did my student teaching! I LOVE that school. I love the people: the kids, the staff, the parents. About 3 weeks after I heard that news, the principal asked for my resume and set up an interview time with me. That interview was supposed to be today. I had everyone pulling for me. It was for a 4th grade position, so I'd be teaching my 3rd graders from this year if the job was to be mine. What more could a first year teacher ask for than to already know the kids and have built a relationship with so many of them? (That's a pretty big advantage, along with being familiar with the staff and school.) I figured that this was why I had been assigned at that school to do my student teaching, over Denton ISD. But, alas - with every high point, a low one comes. The principal found out yesterday that the position had to be filled with a forced district transfer. (Basically, a teacher from another school was going to be forced out due to lower enrollment, but the district is obligated to find her a new position aka my longed for 4th grade job.) With how crappy the economy is right now, people are holding on to their jobs for dear life, so job postings are also down. Anyway, the principal had to come tell me to my face this morning that the job had disappeared, her hands were tied, and she, therefore, couldn't interview me. I'd had speculation of this, so I wasn't blind sighted, but still sorely disappointed. I had to stay composed since I was subbing in my old classroom. But, as soon as I saw my mom and aunt this afternoon - I fell a part. It finally got to me. And, even though, I know God has another door that is to be opened for me...it was such a blow. I started missing my kids so much, knowing I wasn't going to have the chance to watch them grow up next year. A million questions started running through my mind: Where are we going to live, now? Will I find a job? What about money? What about insurance? Why is this happening and what is the greater meaning behind it? My dad said he thinks God would think we were silly if we didn't ask, "Why?" We are allowed to get upset, as long as it doesn't hinder our faith. So, with great struggle, faith, and needing courage right now - I am emailing more principals, looking at more districts, and asking you to pray with me like you have never done so before. I need peace going into this wedding (that is 9 1/2 weeks away). My plate is about this big: l__l, and it has about this much on it: l________________________l. I'm so disappointed and feel a bit lost. But, I'm reminding myself (about every 5 minutes, so I don't spill over into water works) that my God will provide, and He has never closed a door, where He hasn't already found a window to open.