Extreme Meltdown: Heather Edition

So, this past week has been incredibly full of life's ups and downs. I, all of a sudden, became over the top overwhelmed with all things related to the wedding, job hunting, money, relationships...basically all things related to life. :)

On Thursday, my wedding stress hit a high. I was stressed with ordering the bridesmaid dresses, booking a videographer, picking food for the reception, my cake appointments coming up, picking my flowers, and going to the bridal show that was Sunday. It put me in a bad mood Friday night and all day Saturday. I sobbed for part of both of those days, harder than I have in forever. I have tried so hard to please myself (along with everyone else) and not be a total butt during this planning process. I think it just all came tumbling in around me. I felt like no one liked my ideas, supported my decisions, or wanted to be a part of this shin-dig anymore. Of course - that was just my stressed out self having a pity party. Because I had a good time at the bridal show on Sunday and made some wedding progress this week.

On top of the wedding craze, I want a teaching job, it's too early to find one for the fall, and am scared to death of being in charge of my kids without any help. I am working my rear off to grab up subbing jobs to make money. I have no idea where Steve and I are going to be living or what his job will be. I mean, really, I don't even know what my job will be. We are going to be fresh out of college, newlyweds, living off of our very new incomes and our savings from the past couple of semesters we've worked. I of course am asking myself the normal questions of, "Where will we live? How are we going to pay for such and such and this and that? Will it all be ok?" I know the answer to the most important question. Yes - of course, it's all going to be okay. We both rely on our faith in our Savior. But, I want to fix things myself, plan things myself, and be in charge. I just know God is tugging at my heart to lean on him. And, why should I be worried? Steve would take a third job digging ditches to make ends meet if he needed to. I'm lucky to have that kind of amazing man in my life. And, we won't need an extreme measure like that either. Life is just full of coming changes and uncertainties right now. Holding onto my faith and the love of my life...

I'm feeling better now. Today was much better. I finally got out and subbed after being cooped up in the house for two straight days due to ice days off from school. Steve comes home tomorrow, and we have lots of wedding stuff to do this weekend. It's so much easier to do with him by my side. It's been two weeks since I've seen him...and trust me, we need a bear hug from each other like nobody's business. :)